I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
