it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
