So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
More tranny stories later!
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
