i jhust puked up my retainher.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
