when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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