I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
