Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
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