no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
