Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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