Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
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