I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
