stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
