:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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