I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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