If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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