Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
