You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
