This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
