I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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