You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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