Got a toothbrush?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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