I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
