did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
