Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
