Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
