I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
ttyl tear gas
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
