I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
