Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
