lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
