champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
