I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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