My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i think my tv is drunk
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
