Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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