You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
