Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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