Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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