I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize