So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
