im gay
i know
yea but for you.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
My penis needs a shock collar
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
