Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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