i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
