Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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