What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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