Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
