I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
