Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
