its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
my penis made a compromise with my morals
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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