I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
