No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
