whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
