Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
