Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize