just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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