worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
