a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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