its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
