So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
