yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
