So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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